Listen to Your Baby

Parenting is hard work. There is no magic book you can read or special seminar you can attend that will let you in on all the secrets to this wonderfully rewarding job that the Lord has entrusted you with. I am not suggesting that there aren't plenty of helpful tips and pointers out there, because I know there are, but look closely at what I am saying. No one will ever be able to tell you how exactly your child needs to be parented. LISTEN TO YOUR BABY. I am sure this kind of a "duh" statement for some of you reading but it is something I had to come to realize through the first few months of Harrison's life. When you bring your sweet little newborn home everyone always has tons of advice to offer you ranging anywhere from how and where they should sleep to how often they should eat to what they should and should not wear, and the list goes on and on! The best piece of advice I can offer, LISTEN TO YOUR BABY. I promise you they will let you know what they need. When I first brought Harrison home I was instructed to only nurse him every 3 hours during the day and 4-5 hours during the night. Wrong. This baby was hungry. I tried to follow their instructions for about 2-3 days and that was about it. I could tell that he was hungry about every 2- 2 1/2 hours during the day and I didn't see the need to "push his feedings out" any longer than that. Many will argue that babies will learn to eat on a schedule and will eat more when they do eat because they realize they won't be eating for another however many hours. I just never saw the point in listening to him cry for 30 minutes because he was hungry simply because it was not "time" to eat yet. Now, as it is becoming time for Harrison to begin eating more table foods and less baby foods, I am still listening to what my baby wants. Am I following any chart or table that tells me what he "wants" at this age? No. I give him some of what we are eating along with his regular baby food and that's that. If we are having spaghetti, he has spaghetti. I we are having lasagna, roast, pancakes, eggs, muffins, rice, cooked vegetables and so on guess what- he has it too. If he does not "want" it, I promise you he makes it very clear :)
Another concept I have never been able to agree with is crying it out. I have rocked Harrison to sleep every nap and every night for the past 9 months up until the past few weeks. Why? Because I never felt that I was so busy or that my life was so important that I could not take that 30 minutes of time to sooth and comfort my baby at these times. I listened to what my baby needed and I am still listening to what he needs now. Recently he has not wanted to be rocked anymore while going to sleep. When I try to rock him, he squirms, twists, turns and wiggles all over the place. I can tell that he simply wants to lay down, so I lay him down. He will jabber and flip around for about 5 minutes and then he is asleep. It was that simple. I never fought him at bed time. There were never any all night cryings or weeks spent sleep training in our house. If he woke/wakes up during the night I go in, if I think he is hungry I fed/feed him, if I think he's cold I cover him back up and rock him. Do I loose 30 minutes of sleep, yes. Is it better than listening to him cry it out while he sits in his room alone in the dark getting more and more upset until he finally realizes that no one is coming and stops crying- yes.
I heard someone once say that babies in orphanages do not cry. Why? They have learned that no one is going to come when they do. How pitifully sad. My child, and all future children, will know that someone will always be there to comfort them. They will not feel alone and abandoned. Will I regret this decision? Will my children not develope good sleep habits? Will they need to be rocked at the age of 4? Who knows, who cares. Listen to your baby. In all aspects, not just these three. They are very aware of their needs, all we need to do is take a little time to figure out what it is they are needing.
That's my advice :)